I used to have a lot of ideas about what spirituality was going to give me—or where it was going to take me—on this journey of life. I thought it might lead me to a place where I was immune to pain or anger, where nothing could bother me anymore. A place where I would always be kind, patient, and endlessly understanding. I believed it would somehow lift me out of the messy, raw experience of being human and set me free.
I remember a teacher of mine once saying that she kept catching herself thinking, “If I were just spiritual enough, my problems would go away.” I can relate. Can you?
And yet, what I’ve discovered is something quite different. Yes, this path of self-awareness, growth, healing, and opening is full of profound beauty. The work is hard, and the labor is real—but the fruit is so worth it. There is more freedom. There is more clarity, more capacity to respond with wisdom, compassion, or skill. But not always. Not every time.
As we let go of old patterns and ways of being, it’s amazing how much energy becomes available. That shift alone feels like a miracle. But what it doesn’t do—what no practice can do—is free us from our humanity. From our feelings, our emotions, our vulnerability.
That’s the paradox. The deeper we go, the more we open—not just to joy, but to grief, tenderness, longing, and complexity. The spiritual path doesn’t deliver us from our feelings; it asks us to turn toward them. Again and again. Turn toward how you feel, not away. That’s where the healing is. Because you have to feel it to heal it.
There is something profound that happens when we stop trying to fix every discomfort, and instead choose to meet ourselves with compassion. When we remember that we don’t have to hold it all alone—that there is something larger than us, call it grace or presence or the Divine, that can hold everything we are holding. Even when it all feels overwhelming, we are never alone with it.
And still, it’s not easy. When a wave of shame or heartbreak or jealousy hits, my well-trained spiritually-studied mind often jumps right into action: What do I do about this feeling? The urge to manage it, transmute it, resolve it, kicks in fast. I’ve learned so many helpful tools, practices, mantras, and techniques over the years. My toolkit is vast, and it can be incredibly helpful and liberating. But sometimes, all of that becomes a subtle form of escape. The real invitation in those moments is simply to be here. The simplest thing, just being here, can be the hardest thing.
So that’s become the core of my practice now—not the flashiest or most sophisticated one, but the most honest. To allow what’s here to be here. To feel it. To breathe into it. To be kind to myself in the midst of it. When in doubt, be kind.
And kindness isn’t just a nice idea—it’s what creates the internal safety that allows anything to shift. The only way to heal is to come into safety. We can’t force transformation; we can only create the conditions where it’s possible. And safety—through compassion, presence, and permission—is the ground where everything begins to soften.
Today, I had a moment that cracked something tender open. An exchange with someone close to me triggered a surge of unexpected feeling. I immediately judged myself: You shouldn’t feel this way. But that old narrative is softer now. I noticed the cocktail of grief, shame, jealousy, frustration—and I chose to stay with it, and with myself. To feel it. To welcome it as part of being human.
It moved, as feelings do when they’re met with kindness. The 90-second rule worked its quiet magic once again. And while my brain still wanted to jump in and figure out how to never feel that way again, how to armor up or detach—I knew that wasn’t the answer. The thought comes. The feeling comes. I don’t get to control that. But I do get to choose how I respond.
And when I’m uncertain—when I’m deep in the fog of a moment—I come back to a simple guide I trust. I call it the three-legged stool: What does my intuition say? What does my body say? What do my morals or intentions say? If even one leg is missing, I wait. I listen more deeply. That alignment matters.
Sometimes I place a hand on my chest and just listen. Listen to your heart. Listen to the beat of your heart when you don’t know where to go. It won’t always give me clear answers. But it always brings me back to the truth that I am here. Alive. Whole, even in my pain.
This path doesn’t remove the hard parts. It teaches us how to stay close to ourselves in the middle of them. And maybe that’s the freedom I was looking for all along—not escape, but intimacy with what’s real.
Wishing you the capacity, compassion and resource to Just Be, and to love yourself and your experience exactly as you are in any moment.
And Happy Spring!
If you enjoy these newsletters or know of someone who might benefit from my work, please share this with them! Thank you!
Spring Supplement Sale
April 8-10th on Fullscript
As you begin anew this spring, refresh your supplements during the Spring Supplement Sale with 25% off!
Allergy Season Support Protocol
Available on Fullscript
Prepare yourself to enjoy new blooms and being outside, with my allergy season support protocol.
Upcoming Programs & Events
Riding the Waves
A Monthly Group
This is an ongoing group that meets monthly online with Elizabeth to practice how to ride the waves of the challenging moments in our lives and work with our different mind states. We practice ways to cultivate resilience, self connection, and deep wellbeing. Our time together includes teachings, guided meditation, as well as space for questions, discussion and sharing.
We would love to have you join us!
We gather on zoom 2-3pm MT, the 3rd Tuesday of each month.
$20 / Month
A Heart Journey Through Nepal
A Women’s Retreat
October 6th - October 18th, 2025
I am so excited to lead this retreat! Come Join Us!
Step into the powerful, boundless land of Nepal—a place where breathtaking landscapes, vibrant cultures, and ancient traditions converge to offer deep nourishment and profound transformation.
With a collective experience of over 20 years in Nepal, Shannon, Tiphaine, and Elizabeth have woven countless memories with the land and its people—through treks, retreats, sacred ceremonies, and shared laughter that transcends language. We are honored to invite you to experience the deep love and rich connections we’ve cultivated here, and to offer you a personal journey of healing and growth.
Nepal is a land that has long inspired seekers and been a source of spiritual wisdom. It is a place where the sacred and the ordinary coexist, offering an abundance of support for those who seek to align with its rhythms. Together, we will guide you into a direct, embodied experience of this extraordinary land and culture, helping you discover the many layers of transformation it has to offer.
This is more than a retreat—it is an invitation to immerse yourself in a place that has the power to change you from the inside out. It is an opportunity to be captivated. We look forward to sharing this extraordinary journey with you.
Location: Based in the foothills of the Himalayas, the Kathmandu Valley is the beating heart of Nepal. Our retreat will be nested in three sacred locations in order to offer more depth and fewer transitions. We’ll be at altitudes between 4,500 and 6,000 feet throughout our time together and experience both urban and rural landscapes.
A Poem I Am Loving Lately
By Jeff Foster
Strictly speaking, you do not heal 'from' trauma. You simply come to know yourself as Life Itself. And you turn towards the wounded place, and you flush it with attention, which is love. And maybe the wound will always be with you, maybe you will always walk with the hurt. Except now, you hold it. It doesn't hold you. Now, you are the container, not the contained. So it doesn't control you any longer, the wound, because it is drenched in awareness now. Drenched in You. Loved by You. Even celebrated by You. You do not heal 'from' trauma, strictly speaking. You find healing 'in' the trauma. You find yourself at trauma's sacred core: The One who is always present. The One who can bear even the most intense feeling states. And survive. The Indestructible One. The Infinite One. The Powerful One. YOU.”
An App I am Loving lately
5 Calls
An App that Makes Calling Our Representatives Easy, so we can Rise Up and Speak Out!
I love how easy and approachable the 5 Calls app makes it to make your voice heard and show up for what is important to you!
About Seeds of Light
Seeds of Light is the blog of Elizabeth Astor, LAc, MSOM, CHom.
Elizabeth works as a Medical Intuitive, Meditation Teacher, Mind-Body-Spirit Specialist, Acupuncturist, Herbalist and Homeopath in Boulder, CO. She offers private sessions, which include a blend of her medical, soul evolution, and energy healing skill sets. Elizabeth has been asked to teach meditation and the spiritual awakening path by her teacher Sharon Landrith, and has been confirmed as a teacher in the lineage of Adyashanti. Elizabeth teaches the heart opening path of meditation and aligning ourselves to the light within, as well as intuition practices for individuals and health care providers, in local groups, retreats and internationally online.
Visit www.elizabethastor.com to learn more about Elizabeth, and her upcoming events, guided meditations, and teachings.
Beautiful words to live by.